- Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?"
Defendant: "Yes, it's true."
Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?"
Defendant: "Because it wouldn't be true anymore."
- Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.
- The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!"
"Why?" asked the Judge.
"Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."
-
A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander.
"Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them," instructed the lawyer.
The witness hesitated. "But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested.
"Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge."
SVATS
WELCOME TO LANCE ITO'S SIDEBAR and GRILL
If you have an hour to kill, please join us for dinner.
APPETIZERS
Rosa Lopez Nachos..........$3.95
Spicy, with a thick Mexican accent. Nachos haven't been this good since....well, we can't remember!
FROM THE BAR
Paula Barbieri Cocktail..........$3.95
OJ with a little honey on the side. Goes down real easy.
Marcia Clark Beer..........$1.95
We thought we still had a case, but now we're not sure.
Ron Goldman Wine..........$3.95
Young vintage, good body, but you have to bring your own glasses.
SALADS
Kato Salad..........$3.95
An empty head of lettuce with very little dressing.
SOUPS
Soup Dujury..........$4.95
Aged for over a year. May be bitter.
FROM THE GRILL
Mark Fuhrman Chicken..........$6.95
Absolutely no dark meat.
Veal A'la Nicole..........$5.95
Well battered and sliced. Served without the head.
Dennis Fung Plate..........$6.95
Grilled detective, served open-faced, may be contaminated.
SANDWICHES
Simpson Alibi Sandwich..........$4.25
Full of baloney, hard to swallow, but lots of stupid people are buying it!
DESSERT
Sorry, our bakery is temporarily closed. The lawyers have taken all the dough!!!
--------------------
Πάντα στο σωστό μέρος, αλλά σε λάθος ώρα
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