From a web site in EnglandJust a three-hour flight away...a magical island of contrasts that offers something for everyone no matter how young or old Whoop it up at a disco or just ab-Zorba the sun on a golden beach
IT'S nearly 1am and Julie from Manchester is giving it large with a raunchy version of Hey Big Spender on the karaoke.
The backing track is actually playing My Way but she carries on regardless and no-one seems to mind.
This is the Red Lion, one of a number of English bars in the small but bustling town of Argassi on the Greek island of Zakynthos.
Apart from the warm, starlit night and the incredibly cheap bar prices, it could be a typical Saturday night in any pub back home.
But Zakynthos, nicknamed Zante by the thousands of Brits who visit every year, is more than that - a lot more.
One of the largest of the Ionian islands, it's not quite as pretty and tranquil as neighbouring Kefalonia, but it more than makes up for it in liveliness.
You can party round the clock in the numerous bars and tavernas and many of the main resorts - especially Laganas - are a magnet for those who love the bright lights and latest disco sounds.
But just a stone's throw from the main streets or a short drive over the steep vineyard-covered mountains is some of the most breath-taking, lush scenery you'll find anywhere in Greece.
There are lots of gorgeous beaches, too. Like the one at Gerakas - a nature reserve for the rare loggerhead sea turtle, where tourists are only permitted between the hours of dawn and dusk.
Some of the best stretches of coastline, including the spectacular Wreck Beach - where a smugglers' ship lies stranded, half submerged in the pure white sands - are only accessible by boat.
But there is no shortage of cruises - at around pounds 16 a head - to take you virtually anywhere you want to go ...even across to the mainland.
The price usually includes food and drink and the cruise provides a great way to see the island and top up your tan.
Food is extremely reasonably priced - a slap-up meal for two with drinks will set you back around a tenner.
And though menus in the large resorts tend to be very British-based (you can even get roast beef and Yorkshire pudding on Sundays) some of the more out-of-the-way tavernas still offer delicious traditional Greek fare.
Hiring a car, scooter or bike is essential if you want to to explore the beautiful but less easily accessible countryside in the remoter parts of the island.
But beware. The Greek highway code can be a mystery to outsiders and driving in the larger towns - especially the capital Zakynthos Town - can be a white-knuckle nightmare for the uninitiated.
Away from the tortuous roads, the locals are really welcoming and you'll be their friend for life if you try to speak a few words in their native tongue. (We got a free ice cream on the strength of a couple of half-remembered phrases.)
Accommodation is generally basic but good. We travelled with JMC and stayed B&B at the comfy Zakantha Beach Hotel in Argassi with a great view overlooking the bay.
But the company also has plenty of bargain self-catering apartments, many with their own pool. A week at the Zakantha Beach costs pounds 455 per person. That's based on two adults sharing a twin room B&B. But if you go between October 18-31 you can get a two-weeks-for-the-price-of-one deal. For more details call JMC on 0870 555 0440 or log on to www.jmc.com
Just three hours flying time away, Zakynthos has something for everyone - young or old.
Julie from Manchester obviously enjoyed it. She told me on the flight home that she loved every minute.
As far as she can remember...
3 OF THE BEST
PLACES
1. HISTORIC St Dennis' Church in Zante Town.
2. UNSPOILT tranquil beach resort of T Silivi for rest and relaxation.
3. ANCIENT Volimes for honey and lace.
Gifts
1. CHEWY, deliciously sweet Greek nougat.
2. DODGY designer clothes at a fraction of the price of the real thing.
3. AMAZING bargains on fine jewellery and silverware.
FOOD
1. SIMPLE feta cheese and tangy taramasalata.
2. GRASSY, fragrant olive oil straight from the local presses.
3. FRESH, rustic home-baked bread from vitually any roadside shop.
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Πάντα στο σωστό μέρος, αλλά σε λάθος ώρα